Showing posts with label opera gown. Show all posts
Showing posts with label opera gown. Show all posts

Sunday, 1 September 2013

Gowning in the alley with a hat condition

Boing. I'm back.

That's my beret in my hand. It's not really a hat attack, more like a chronic hat condition. See my hat in action below. (I think the frame is bigger over at YouTube.) Hello, Style Crone, I'm so happy to join your hat celebration, Hat Attack No. 2. Although this shoot from Aug 30 wasn't planned for the occasion, how happy I am that it works. Raw footage, style parkouring with Sandra.

A hard rain scoured the ground in the dark. When the sun came out, the back lanes were not pristine, not putrid either - I couldn't say the same for the previous day Sandra and I filmed there. This is the perfect location to capture our kwalidy and crassmanship on film. Despite the breezeless day we stumbled upon a mighty wind blowing eau de fries and fish from the ventilation shaft directly behind and above me. It was for Art, ladies and gentlemen.

Wearing: thrifted black satin opera gown with thrifted black T underneath, magic loupe O made me, beaded lucky charm bag, D&G thrifted shoes, thrifted indigo wool beret.

This dress is by Deborah Davenport who specializes in couture clothing, $12 from my local thrift, worn yesterday, Aug 31. Apparently Ms Davenport is now buddies with Dr. Phil (big Hollywood pop-psychologist person) and this dress was probably made to measure for someone Important (yeah, me) with hand-stitched lining, etc. The dress fits like a glove. It's so tight at the knees, in fact, that I had use the cut curbs at crosswalks because I wasn't sure I could climb onto the sidewalk on the other side (not kidding). Sandra guided me on my walk home. Again, for Art. 

We're filming for VOGOFF. Hilarity and Serious Fashion ensue. Drahma, dahlings. Miz Bagg is practising her krumping and twerking but is not quite ready for prime time. 

I hope you are all well. I flit about, here, there, here, there. Hugs to you!! You are all extraordinary inspiration. Have you got your groove on? See you soon. I'm also invisibly connecting to Patti's Visible Monday, which is on holiday this week.

Question: So what happens when you find your mind?

Wednesday, 7 November 2012

VOGOFF Magazine by Miz Bagg

Letter from VOGOFF Editor in Chief, Miz Bagg:

I know the universe hangs on my every blurt so I have decided to immortalize myself as Editor in Chief of this magazine, the highly prestigious, internationally-acclaimed, Pewlister Prize-winning VOGOFF (pronounced voggoff or vhog-off). Please reserve your applause until the end. (Come now, get ahold of yourselves. Have a little dignity and humility - like me.)

Of course I, Miz Bagg, am the queen of everything about beauty, fashion, makeup, grace, real good manners, and such-like, and I am an incredibly word-ly person, as you no doubt observed in my writing in my How-to Guide to Posing, Part 1 on 8-track cassette. (Thanks for your support. Of course you bought it.) So my beauty is not only gobsmacking - my intelligence and that stuff are also big gob-droppings of smartness.

This first issue features only photos of moi, Miz Bagg, of course, but I may allow the little people to contribute later on when I'm busy doing something way better. In this issue I am pleased to unveil to you the hottest thing since Yanni - the mashed potato fashion accessory specially designed by iqi (pronounced icky). Unless you've been living in Uranus, you'll know that kitchen tools are hot.

And who can help dancing uncontrollably when opening a container of yogurt or spraying air freshener or whipping out a duster or mopping the floor? Well, lucky you's - inside this issue are a few new dance steps you can try when cleaning and eating. They are perfect for tightening up those pesky fleshy pads on your hand between your thumb and index finger.

Plus, as a special feature: "Are we addicted to our uprights?" With a quiz! I too am not immune to the sight of a hard upright vacuum, all beastie thrumming with unkempt hair inside, which is only natural for a feminine creature such as mine self, but here I share with you not only my secrets for hiding these naughty little liaisons from your partner, but also ancient mystical monk moves for upping your upright's suction power by 73.5 percent. Therapists are on standby in case you fail the stupid quiz. You loser.

Miz Bagg caught in an unguarded moment following the upright shoot. Photo courtesy of Takenzeepiss 2012
Okay, I'm off now to consult with all those high-power smiling advertising people in New York to teach them a hot dance for their new and exciting anti-fungal soap. They keep begging and begging me to be in their global network ad campaigns (it's rather embarrassing) and I keep telling them to feck off, I'm far more valuable in my role as guru and goddess. Then I'm off to consult on ballerina costumes for some female products.

I know it's a an exciting life, but I, Miz Bagg, am the only one to lead it, as I shall and can. Tra-la-tra-la. Ooh, my upright needs attention.

Till the next unbelievably fabulous issue, hugs and kisses, but don't wreck my lipstick!!! (Oh, you fecking bi-otch)


(The Real Writer's Notes)
In the next issue, probably December: The Implications of Hot Flashes. Are peri/menopausal women with hot flashes responsible for global warming or is it bovine flatulence? What would happen if power companies could wire hot flashes into the Smart Grid. Would we have to call it the Smarter Grid?

The Real Real Writer's Notes

I watched part of the recent silent movie, The Artist, a few nights ago and another movie from 1932 last night in which the lead platinum blond delivered this great line: "I'm as exciting as an ironing board." On top of that, I had a little correspondence with Curtise from The Secondhand Years about kitchen utensils... So Miz Bagg was sequestered in a photo shoot last night not knowing what would result.

I'm so happy this "magazine" popped out. I had been mulling the idea for quite a while and suddenly there it was - my perfect inaugural cover. If any of you want to contribute a little piece to a future issue, maybe next month, let me know, ultra-Vogue on drugs with cool photos.

About the outfit

  • black satin ball gown above, last worn here 
  • bunch of jewellery I dug out of my box, including beads from the Pride Parade and a few pieces that someone had left in our garbage room for the taking - I'm such a discriminating shopper
  • canary diamond ring from the local dollar store. 

I haven't been commenting much but I have been lurking. Sometimes I have to pull back to keep the fun and spontaneity alive. I think you know what I mean...

I hope you're all having a FANTASTIC week.

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